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Wareware wa onaji jikan wo, eien to loop shiteru no desu yo.

Whaleware Boxshot

The full feature list can be found on the features page, but here's the basics:

  • Do AWESOME stuff daily.
  • Don't pay for the Internet
  • Get free Wii
  • Invest in the stock market with Whaleware
  • Do STUFF
  • Hello? NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! (Yoshi) (Yoshi) (Yoshi) support added, at no extra cost!
  • Import .PNG .DOC .DOCX .XLS .WAD .1 .2 .3 .ZIP .RAR .LOL and many more!
  • COOL

Whaleware is now available at an Internet near you!

Download Whaleware!

We solemnly promise you won't get arrested for downloading it at least 20% of the time in most cases! It's as free and legal as offers from the Nigerian Finance Minister!

Or order Whaleware over the phone! 15 minutes could save you 15% or more:

Call now! (555) 555-5555

Immediately upon ordering, specially trained whales will be dispatched from Atlantis to delvier your copy of Whaleware directly to your door.

They call them Flippers! Flippers! Faster than lightning!

It's a whale of a sale!

And if you order within the next 10 minutes, we'll include a copy of Whaleware Lite absolutely free!

Whaleware Lite: Not funny, but good for you.

Need more money for Whaleware? Sell your kids! They don't understand the bond you share with our Whaleware!

We solemnly promise that even if you quit receiving our services, we will send you free trial CDs for years to come.

Whaleware is (C)1946-2011 by Whaleware, Inc. Please do not make illegal copies of Whaleware on pieces of French toast. Whaleware, Inc. is not responsible for any water damage that may result from using our product. Whaleware is not meant to treat or prevent any known disease. Do not use Whaleware if you have a history of common colds. Do not use Whaleware if you are pregnant, or may become pregnant. Side effects include nose bleeding, itchy and dry skin, ulcers, broken limbs and in some rare cases cancer of the funny bone. Do not use Whaleware with Pepto Bismol. WhaleWare will not make you happy. Only iPhones do that. Whaleware may approach your children in white, windowless vans offering candy. Teach your children of "Stranger Danger" and Whaleware will NEVER get them. Never feed Whaleware after midnight. Whaleware is not meant to represent, replace, or displace any relative of the user. Do not get Whaleware wet. Wet Whaleware makes for unhappy customers. Do not mix Whaleware with Spell Cards, for they have been known to cause severe side effects including hit boxes the size of a football field. Whaleware should never be put in a microwave. Whaleware has been known to come alive and viciously murder and/or consume turtles. Whaleware has been linked with people taking pipe bombs to snapping turtles. Whaleware has been known to cause various forms of not-normalness in its users. If you experience any not-normalness, please call your nearest Whaleware represenitive as soon as possible. If you have been injured or fallen sick while using Whaleware, then call Chex & Mills for a free consultation. You can sue the makers of Whaleware for thousands of dollars. Call this toll-free number: 1-800-565-9428

Wonder what the heck Whaleware is all about? Click Here, and start reading to get the full background behind the concept of Whaleware. (Warning: Very Long Read)

Website design by Xbolt. (Created using Whaleware of course.)

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