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Wareware wa onaji jikan wo, eien to loop shiteru no desu yo.

Our Founder

Our founder, outside his home in the Pacific.

Whaleware got its start in the summer of 1946, with the program created to run the ENIAC computer. Written entirely by one whale, "Killer," it was hearalded as a major milestone in the computer industry, and gave whales everywhere a name for themselves. No longer would humans dominate technology. But development didn't stop there.

An even greater claim to fame would come in the 1960's, when NASA was loaned the source code in order to create the computers that would be sent to the Moon and back, as well as those at Mission Control.

In the 1970's, personal computers were becoming more and more popular. And finally, in 1977, Whaleware Inc. was officially founded by Killer, and released the WW-80 home computer system.

In 1981, Whaleware 0.5 was released, which was the first version of the operating system we know today. A phenominal financial success, it was so good at everything, as well as being solid as a rock, the beta remained the industry standard all the way until May 1995, when Whaleware 1.0 was officially unveiled. Even Killer himself has said how surprised he was "that the beta lasted as long as it did."

Whaleware 1.0 was followed up with Whaleware 2K in January 2000. Whale2K was followed up with the Whaleware 3.0 BETA in September 2009, boasting new Faster-Than-Light capabilites. Whaleware 4.0, a.k.a. Whale4, was released in January 2010.

Whaleware is (C)1946-2011 by Whaleware, Inc. Please do not make illegal copies of Whaleware on pieces of French toast. Whaleware, Inc. is not responsible for any water damage that may result from using our product. Whaleware is not meant to treat or prevent any known disease. Do not use Whaleware if you have a history of common colds. Do not use Whaleware if you are pregnant, or may become pregnant. Side effects include nose bleeding, itchy and dry skin, ulcers, broken limbs and in some rare cases cancer of the funny bone. Do not use Whaleware with Pepto Bismol. WhaleWare will not make you happy. Only iPhones do that. Whaleware may approach your children in white, windowless vans offering candy. Teach your children of "Stranger Danger" and Whaleware will NEVER get them. Never feed Whaleware after midnight. Whaleware is not meant to represent, replace, or displace any relative of the user. Do not get Whaleware wet. Wet Whaleware makes for unhappy customers. Do not mix Whaleware with Spell Cards, for they have been known to cause severe side effects including hit boxes the size of a football field. Whaleware should never be put in a microwave. Whaleware has been known to come alive and viciously murder and/or consume turtles. Whaleware has been linked with people taking pipe bombs to snapping turtles. Whaleware has been known to cause various forms of not-normalness in its users. If you experience any not-normalness, please call your nearest Whaleware represenitive as soon as possible. If you have been injured or fallen sick while using Whaleware, then call Chex & Mills for a free consultation. You can sue the makers of Whaleware for thousands of dollars. Call this toll-free number: 1-800-565-9428

Wonder what the heck Whaleware is all about? Click Here, and start reading to get the full background behind the concept of Whaleware. (Warning: Very Long Read)

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